Just a few days ago I cut off my hair. Not masses, I haven’t become a skinhead, but a good 3 or 4 inches. That probably doesn’t seem entirely relevant to anything and it wasn’t supposed to be- but what I did realize was that I did it on the last day of my year 9 school year.
You see my school decided to do this clever little thing where they shove us up to our new classes before the 6 week holidays. Rebellious, I know. Anyway, I guess I took this as an opportunity to kind of… re-start. It’s not like I did really badly in my last academic year, if anything, I put an extreme amount of effort in. It took a lot of motivation to just get up and go to school for weeks on end, feeling like I was going nowhere, like I was stuck in this slow motion time warp where I re-lived the same thing, day in day out. To be honest, my education(along with everything else) got pretty screwed about with last year. I got used to a routine of never stopping, ‘coping’ just a little too well. So when you’re a bit of a perfectionist like me and you suddenly get placed in this environment where school is a fraction as intense as you’re used too, you panic. I was so scared of becoming ‘dumb’. I was achieving less and less of what I used to be able to manage, and after a while I stopped caring. It went from doing as much extra work that I possibly could to hardly even writing the date during the short 45 minute sessions of maths I had 3 times a week.
Going back to ‘real school’ was insane. At first, 2 lessons seemed terrible. Imagining whole days, 5 days a week, was horrific for me. In fact, this week is the first full week I’m having at my school for over 7 months.
I promised myself that even if I did slack a little bit during the last few weeks, Monday 22nd June would be a new beginning- a proper start to the new year. So here we are, finally in the most-pressurizing-and-intense-school-years-of-your-education-so-far. Doesn’t sound too fun, but in all confidence, I’m ready for it. Maybe even excited.
We’ll have to see.
[p.s- Spending a week without social media was pretty freeing and I did it!! Sure there’s something annoying about seeing a good opportunity for a snapchat story when you aren’t online, but hey, you get over it. ;)]