To tell the truth…

Right, so this is the part where I pretend to be some proffesional world-famous blogger and start talking about my action-packed day, complete with a trip to Buckingham palace, a private helicopter ride and to top it all off having dinner at the Savoy hotel with Johnny Depp.

Although that is certainly not the truth (although you tend to find some people who think we’re stupid enough to believe it), I am still sat here with two beautiful ladies, eating pancakes and writing this- and that is the life my friends.

Anyway, I decided to express something in this post that I wasn’t planning on sharing online. But i figured if I want to honestly write my OWN thoughts about my OWN life, then I need to write about my mental health, because it seems to be a big part of my life at the moment…

At first, mental health illnesses were a taboo subject. Nobody talked about it. You were simply seen as insane or ‘not right in the head’- people were afraid and ashamed.

Publicity for mental health is a lot stronger in this generation, and disorders such as depression, anxiety, OCD etc are well known. Not everything you see on your twitter feed or your ‘online friend’s instagram account’ is accurate or true, but the basic idea of mental illnesses is there.

I’ve been an inpatient in a young people’s centre for just over 5 months now. I’m not going into details, dates or diagnosis, but I can tell you I am confidently on the way to discharge aaaaaaaand recovery for good c: Just to clarify, it’s NOT full of people licking the walls and running around naked, plus we aren’t kept in padded rooms and straight jackets.This treatment probably does still exist- but only in much securer units. 90% of the time, things are very … normal. We are just ‘normal’ people (whatever the definition of normal is- I don’t even know, I hate the word.), we watch TV, we go to school, I’ve made some strong friends for life here. Life just… happens as it should. Underlying the everyday cover, we all know this ISN’T actually every day life. We know we should be sleeping in our own beds, going to our own schools, making our own experiences- it’s like every day repeats itself, and for a long time it can feel like you’re getting nowhere. Looking back, I recall this memory so clearly and I have NO IDEA how I did it!

Going through this has really changed me. I can’t say I’ve been through it all- I certainly haven’t- but I do know I’ve experienced a lot. Some of the things I’ve seen, heard, thought on a weekly (maybe daily) basis, is stuff you’d never view in your whole lifetime if you never looked for it. I’m quite immune to the sound of screaming now and I don’t know if that’s a good thing. Unfortunately, certain things such as people being restrained, or trying to escape, do occur. It is scary, but it never lasts long. People are found, calmed down, supported. The thing to be remembered is that the person is not insane, they did not choose for their life to go this way, and things will not always be this way. One year ago, things turned bad for me. 6 months ago, things were worse. I never believed I would get better, I thought it would never end- I now understand how extremely ill I was. But things WILL TURN OUT OKAY!!!! Whether you’re going through the worst of the worst or maybe you’re just stressing over your homework due in first thing tomorrow. It will be alright, it will end, by this time tomorrow you’ll have already got through the homework hurdle;)

If you do have questions about mental health & other shiz, do actually comment, I’d love to answer.

Don’t forget the bank holiday this Monday and have a beautiful long weekend, ^-^

Shmelted x

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7 thoughts on “To tell the truth…

  1. Hi, I just wanted to say I think what you’ve been through is amazing and despite the fact I don’t even know you, I’m so glad you’re on the mend. I’ve been reading you’re blogs for a couple of weeks now and I was just wondering if you’d like to take a look at mine. I’ve only just started, a bit like you except I think you’re a bit more used to it than me, so I don’t really know if I’m doing the right things or not. X

    Like

  2. Telling myself to not sweat the small stuff has always been a problem area for me–‘This too shall pass’ was what I kept repeating to myself all through last year and the year before when things seemed to be at their worst. I never understood what normal means either but I’m glad you’re happy to be nearing it.
    Sometimes we just need to tell ourselves that we’re still young and have the world at our feet–whether we do actually believe it then doesn’t really matter because soon enough we’ll realize we are young and do have the world at our feet.
    Also, congratulations 🙂

    Like

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